


Inferno

by sweet_fogarty



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Avengers Tower, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Domestic Avengers, Eventual Smut, Hydra (Marvel), Hydra are dicks, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Medium Burn, Multi, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Not Beta Read, Not Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Loki (Marvel), Pyrokinetic Reader, Rating May Change, Self-Esteem Issues, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:14:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26184778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_fogarty/pseuds/sweet_fogarty
Summary: You've spent the past nine years as a captive of Hydra, but when the Avengers save you, you need the touch of magic to keep yourself from burning from the inside out. Back at the tower, the spell Dr. Strange cast wears off and the Avengers are forced to turn to their new roommate, Loki, for help.Only, Loki takes a particular interest to the ancient rune engraved in your skin, and after learning of your name it becomes all too apparent that you are Loki's soulmate.What happens when Hydra just can't quit you, and you find yourself having to navigate the waters of being a new Avenger, fighting for your life against a terrorist organization all the while trying to figure out this soulmate business?
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Comments: 15
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

When he’d first joined the Avengers, Bucky Barnes had sworn he’d never step foot in another HYDRA facility ever again. While the trigger words had been erased and lost their effect on his mind (thank you, Shuri), Bucky was still an open wound when it came to HYDRA. But something was different about this mission - Steve Rogers had always made a habit of asking Bucky, despite his answer always being no, if he wanted to join them on these missions. Steve always claimed it was because Bucky was the most knowledgeable on the bases that they went to, but everyone knew it was really because Bucky’s name was printed across his ribcage in an elegant font. Part of Steve knew Bucky deserved revenge, and that when the time came he would regret not aiding in the eradication of the terrorist organization.

Bucky remembers the surprise on Steve’s face when he’d actually answered with a yes, he almost laughed at the expression the Captain had pulled. But no matter how much Bucky wanted to joke around with the rest of the team and relish in kicking Nazi ass, he couldn’t help the pit in his stomach whenever he thought about the mission.

Entering the facility had been relatively easy, not counting the dozens of agents they’d had to plow through, but now Bucky’s going on gut-instinct alone. There’s a pull from deep in his chest that’s pulling him through the corridors and around corners. Steve and Clint are a few turns back, fighting off stray agents, but Bucky is too focused to turn back and help them. He can’t remember ever being in this specific building, but he remembers the feeling of the harsh stone walls under his flesh hand.

It’s when he turns the next corner that he can finally make out the pained screams coming from the room at the very end of the hallway. The screams are piercing and cut through Bucky with incredible force. Bucky can practically feel the agony from where he stumbles three feet away and when he opens the steel door with a kick to the lock he has to put a hand on the wall to steel himself as he watches you thrash and sob and cry screams of agony.

There’s something familiar about you, but Bucky doesn’t give himself a moment of pause to figure out when he’d met you before. Your screaming never lets up, your arms desperately claw at your skin and Bucky makes out streaks of blood from where your nails have scratched your skin raw. There’s an orange glow to you that makes his eyes widen and as he approaches the air around him gets ten degrees hotter, humid and sticking to his skin.

“I’m gonna get you out of here, alright doll?” Bucky says cautiously as he goes to touch a tentative hand to your arm. He has to switch out for his metal arm though when your skin scalds his palm and he hisses out an expletive before placing his cold metal hand on your shoulder.

When the metal touches your skin your screams halt, though your sobs are loud and equally as agonizing, and your eyes fly open to meet Bucky’s steel coloured blues. Bucky sees recognition in your eyes and any fight that you previously had leaves you as you relax slightly from your spot beneath his hand.

“Please,” you beg, left hand reaching up to grip his metal wrist and Bucky’s eyes widen as he registers the heat against his arm. You must’ve been running dangerously high temperatures in order for his arm to pick it up. A scream claws up your throat and you tighten your grip, “make it stop, it hurts.”

Bucky hears Steve calling for Stark and Strange over the comms and with a quick glance over his shoulder he sees both Steve and Clint in the doorway. The two walk over to stand on either side of Bucky and through his peripheral he sees the frowns and expressions of sympathy mirrored on their faces.

“What happened to you, kid?” Steve asks and Bucky has half a mind to roll his eyes at his partner’s choice of pet-name considering you’re easily older than twenty-three (which would make you less than five years younger than their biological age). Bucky doesn’t have a chance to chastise Steve when you let out a series of screams that sound as though they’re ripping your throat apart. Your hand drops from Bucky’s wrist and he tears his arm back as you thrash on the metal coat you’re laying on, your hands going back to clawing at your arms.

Bucky sees Clint flick his hearing aid off and rolls his eyes, both he and Steve gasping as smoke begins to exit from your ears and your crying gets more desperate.

“What the hell did you do?” Tony Stark asks, admonished as he pushes his way through the trio of men. His helmet has folded back into his suit and Tony is speaking in a rushed tone to his A.I. “Shit, FRIDAY says she’s running a temp of over 500 degrees. How is this even possible?”

“It’s not,” Dr. Strange answers as he too pushes Bucky out of his way. Bucky, Steve and Clint watch as Strange hovers his hands over her body, going from head to toes as he scans her. Orange wisps of magic escape his palms as he does so and he hears you let out a sigh of relief before your eyes roll back into your head and you fall still under him. “From what I can tell, it’s likely she’s inhuman - some sort of pyrokinesis. However, this level of instability and high temperatures are still extremely uncommon. I’ve managed to detect some sort of chemical agent in her bloodstream. My guess is when they heard us coming they injected her with something as a failsafe.”

“So what do we do?” Steve asks, horror and pity evident in his voice and Bucky reaches his flesh hand out to grip Steve’s, more for himself than the blond.

Strange rubs a hand over his neck, “I’ve placed her under a powerful sleeping spell that should last the flight back to your tower, I’ve also placed a protection spell on her that should keep her stable enough to run tests. It should last long enough for you to get home, run tests, and find some sort of antidote.”

“Okay, and what happens if it wears off before then?” Bucky asks, squeezing Steve’s hand to keep himself grounded. He can’t figure out where the emotional tether to you comes from, but it’s there.

“Well, I have business to attend to with Wong so I won’t be of any use. Let’s hope you have access to someone else who practices magic.” Is Strange’s reply, all dry and void of compassion or concern as he opens a portal behind him and leaves.

Bucky swears under his breath before turning towards Stark, “Where the hell are we going to find a wizard?”

“Finding one isn’t the problem,” Stark answers rubbing his hands over his face before gesturing towards Bucky to carry you. “It’s convincing Reindeer Games to care about someone other than himself or his brother.”

***

The next time you wake up it’s in a lab at the Avenger’s Tower. You’re disoriented, eyes flickering to every corner of the room and you register the calmness in your chest and the buzzing under your skin. Captain America moves forward with his hands up in surrender, “Hey, kid, you should’ve been under still. We need to run some tests on you to see what they put in your body so we can fix it, okay?”

You see Dr. Banner approaching with a long needle and notice the wires attached to your body. A loud beeping picks up pace as your breath comes out harsh and a familiar dark-haired, metal-armed man sneaks out from behind Steve’s back. Your eyes focus in on Bucky as he stands next to the gurney you’re laying on. 

“I know you don’t have a good history with doctors and needles, okay? But I promise you all Bruce is gonna do is take a blood sample and run some tests so that we can fix this, okay?” Bucky explains and you nod, meeting his eyes.

“I trust you,” you tell him before giving Bruce your arm. The three men seem shocked but move forward, and you’re suddenly put through a myriad of machines to scan your body and brain. 

You’re laying in wait on the cot, Steve and Bucky sitting on a couch against the wall to your right and you smile at their locked hands. Clearing your throat, the two men look up towards you but you keep your gaze on Bucky, “I remember you.”

“I’m not that person anymore.”

You shake your head and move your gaze to the wall behind his head, “They kidnapped me while I was on vacation in Russia. I don’t remember a lot but they put me in this room four two days straight while they prepped for transport I guess. I was surrounded by a bunch of these tubes and they were all empty except for one. You were in there, frozen, and I remembered you from history class. They didn’t give me anything to eat and I remember I got so delirious I started to just talk to you. Eventually, I tried to melt down your chamber but they came and got me instead.”

Bucky’s sitting at attention and Steve’s got his elbows on his knees as he leans forward, both men encouraging you to continue with your story. “They woke you up three years later, in America. I’d been acting out, fighting back and they started to get mad and threatened me with this machine. They showed me this video of you, and I remembered you. You were screaming and I guess they were erasing your memories after one of your missions.”

You take a breath and meet Bucky’s eyes, they’re clouded over with tears that are mirrored in your own eyes and you gulp before finishing. “You came back that night and they were planning on erasing you again and they kept me outside of the door in the hallway as they strapped you in. I don’t know if it was fear of them doing it to me or the look in your eyes but I couldn’t let them do it. HYDRA is super old school and I guess when it came to this particular machine they didn’t want to risk updating it in case they fucked it up and it stopped working, so there were a bunch of wires going everywhere from the machine. One of them went through the hallway into a room next door. I stepped on it and right when they went to press the button I fried the wire. I never knew if it worked or not but you never came back.”

Bucky and Steve both have tears coming out of their eyes and Steve smiles at you. Bucky rises to his feet and moves towards you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders in a hug, “If it wasn’t for you I don’t know if I’d have ever broken out of there. I might never have remembered. Thank you.”

You nod, mumbling a no problem but it comes out short as a pained hiss escapes you. Bucky pulls back quickly and Steve jumps to his feet and is next to his partner in an instant. The buzzing in your skin gets worse before suddenly it bursts and red hot heat spreads under your skin. You’re screaming again and clawing and you can hear voices screaming about ‘more time’ and something about Thor and Loki.

When Thor manages to drag Loki to Bruce and Tony’s lab, he’s explained the situation and Loki appears completely disinterested. When Loki enters he sees the Avengers all huddled around a screaming and writhing girl and rolls his eyes.

“It’s no use, the girl will be dead by nightfall,” Loki tells them, ignoring the yells and swears as he pushes through them and stands next to the bed you’re on. Thor is swearing at his brother, begging him to help and Loki shows no hint of emotion as he places a hand against the skin of your collar bone. He nearly hisses at the heat and instead wills his hand to slowly fade from his Asgardian skin to his Jotun skin, watching you relax slightly at the chill of the frost giant.

Loki sighs and looks bored as he pulls his hand back. You look up at the god with an expression of desperation, and you can’t help but want to cry at how disinterested he appears to be. Some part of you aches, deep in your chest and you can’t explain the pull you feel to him.

When Loki pulls his hand back from your chest his hand returns to flesh, and you feel the hospital gown fall down your left shoulder, revealing your collar bone and a large portion of your chest. Thor lets out a loud gasp, “Brother, look.”

Confused, Loki’s eyes return to your chest and you watch as the colour drains from his face. Following his gaze, your eyes find the long-forgotten rune etched in black over where your heart should reside. You bite down, knowing the god is judging you. You’d grown up knowing you were some kind of defect, for instead of a name you were given a rune, an open triangle of some sort. Sobs of pain still escaping at accelerated volume, you manage to reach your right hand up to tug the sleeve of your gown back up over your shoulder.

“What is your name?” Loki demands and you turn your head to meet his gaze. There’s a look in his eyes, something between anger and awe and resignation and you’re nervous as you sob out your name in full between the cries of pain. With no word of explanation, Loki turns towards the group of heroes that had fallen silent at the interaction, “I will do it.”

And suddenly wisps of green and white are leaving his fingertips and wrapping gently around your body. You sigh in relief as your body instantly cools and the calm feeling from before escapes your mouth before your eyes grow heavy and start to close.

The last thing you see is the same confusing expression and Loki’s bright green eyes before you nod off into a magic-induced slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

The buzzing feeling of magic repressing the burning hot inferno below your skin is still present when you wake up from your slumber, making it clear that an antidote has yet to been discovered or created. You blink away the sleep in your eyes, vision clearing as you assess your surroundings. It’s quiet, and a quick sweep indicates that nearly everyone has left (if the near-silence is any indication, they’ve probably gone to sleep). Nearly everyone as the sleek dark hair of the god from before is ever-present on the couch that Steve and Bucky had been sitting on however long ago.

The man, Loki, is sitting with one leg propped up against his other’s knee, a general look of disinterest on his face as he flips through the pages of a book. You furrow your eyes, a yawn escaping a moment later that causes Loki to look up slowly from where he’s reading. Loki closes his book with a snap and entwines his hand on his lap as he watches you, head tilted to the side.

You can’t find it in yourself to sit up, your body still heavy from whatever sleeping spell he’d put you under earlier, but you manage a small smile that probably looks more like a grimace than anything. The atmosphere is tense, and you feel awkward and bite down on your lip to relieve some tension from your body. That strange pulling sensation in your chest is back as you look at Loki and you suck down a breath, rubbing a hand along your chest. Deciding to break the silence you clear your throat, “Where is everyone?”

“They’ve gone to bed,” Loki hums, eyebrows scrunched as he watches you continue the incessant rubbing at your chest, “Stark’s artificial intelligence system is currently running equations to form some sort of chemical antidote for your...predicament.”

You nod, propping yourself up on your elbow, “Why are you here?”

“I’m not, ‘tis only an illusion,” Loki says quickly, seeming affronted by your belief that he’d actually be here.

You nod again, the confusion still present, “ _ Okay _ , why is your illusion here then?”

You think you may have rendered the god speechless as he stares at you, a flicker in his eyes and something about the atmosphere shifts. The air feels different and Loki stands, slowly making his way towards you.

“Do you know what this means?” Loki asks as he comes to a stop before your cot, a hand hovering above where your soulmark is.

“Um yes, it’s the  _ Kaunaz _ . It’s an ancient Nordic rune used in magic and divination, it’s the rune for illumination, knowledge and kinship.” You explain, the explanation of the defected mark on your skin being memorized since you’d had the ability to search for it. Your fingers subconsciously trace the rune to calm yourself as you watch Loki stare at it unblinkingly.

Loki laughs, “Yes that is one meaning, but it is also the symbol that corresponds with one of their gods.”

You tilt your head, eyes making contact with Loki’s as understanding begins to envelop you. Your mouth pops open as Loki continues, “the God of Mischief,  _ Loki _ .”

“Wh- I,” you’re stumbling over your words, propelling yourself into a sitting position as you turn your body fully towards Loki. Any sense of caution or patience flies out the window as a demand leaves your lips, “Prove it.”

Loki’s eyes harden but after looking into your eyes he nods, a chuckle escaping, and he pulls up the hem of his shirt, revealing the elegant cursive of your full name travelling up the side of his torso. You feel your eyes water and that sensation in your chest twists. You reach your hand out, going to touch it but are cut off by Loki, “If you touch me the illusion will shatter.”

“You’re my soulmate?” You ask, though you know the answer, your voice small and teetering with emotion as select tears tumble from your eyes.

“It seems so.”

You smile, laugh of disbelief falling out as you look back up towards Loki. He doesn’t appear as happy as you are, his eyebrows scrunched and eyes hardened as he looks at you quizically, “You are not angry?”

“Why would I be angry?”

“Was I not the man who planned to overrule and reign supreme over New York and you Midgardians?” His voice is harsh as he asks but you can’t find yourself to be hurt as you’re too busy being confused.

“Wait, you what?!” You ask, incredulous, “When did that happen?”

Loki’s eyes widen, seemingly remembering you’ve been locked up and hidden away for nearly a decade and he gulps, “Nevermind that, you need more rest.”

Your eyes widen as you realize what he’s planning on doing, and you leave a string of profanities as green ribbons hug you once again, lulling you into yet another slumber.

The next time you wake it’s to the sound of harsh whispers and the sound of rapidly raising voices. You feel equally as groggy and sluggish as the other two times you’ve woken from the sleeping spell and you will your eyes to clear and focus as the open. You’re met with the sight of a defined thigh on your right and as you travel up the individual’s frame you recognize them as Bucky. As if feeling your gaze the soldier looks down and smiles small at you, though it’s clear he’s unnerved and distracted by the conversation. He presses a button and helps you to adjust to your bed moving into a sitting position.

When you’re sitting, you and Bucky both turn back towards the rest of the room. Steve is standing with his arms crossed behind Stark and Dr. Banner who are busy explaining something to Loki and Thor. Loki seems to be the one yelling, Thor jumping in every now and then to support his brother. You recognize Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton who are sitting on the couch, looking mildly bored though Natasha’s face grows more irritated with every yell Loki directs towards the doctor. 

There’s others now, you vaguely recognize them from your rescue but names don’t come to you. There’s a dark-skinned man with some sort of electrical walking aid who’s leaned against the wall of the lab looking bored out of his mind. Directly behind Steve is the black man you recognize as having mechanical wings before, and he stands with his hands on his hips, annoyance clear on his face. A little ways away stand an odd looking couple, slightly behind Loki and Thor. The man is a burgundy colour with a bright yellow gem glowing in the center of his forehead - his left arm is wrapped around the shoulders of the girl. She’s shorter, her hair a strawberry orange colour and her cheekbones are very pronounced. There’s red wisps of energy weaving between her fingers as she taps them together in what you assume is a self-soothing nature.

“Listen, Reindeer Games, there’s a ninety-eight percent chance of success, this is the best shot we have!” Stark yells exasperated and it only serves to fuel whatever anger Loki holds as the god releases a loud, sarcastic laugh.

“Which leaves a two percent chance of failure. And what does failure mean exactly Stark?” Loki’s voice has raised past the octave of yelling and you find yourself gripping Bucky’s metal hand to ground yourself. You aren’t scared, but loud voices and yelling have never been something you’re particularly fond of - it makes you anxious. You feel the cool metal squeeze your hand and take a deep breath.

The yelling continues for you don’t know how long but then the tightness in your chest is unfoiling and the searing blistering heat is chasing itself through your bloodstream once more. Your hand grips Bucky’s for dear life, cramping slightly around it before you let out a blood-curdling scream. The world around you is fuzzy and you hear everyone quiet down as Bucky whispers in your ear, his metal hand going to your forehead. 

Loki is frozen in his spot, Banner and Stark pushing around him with some sort of needle and you’re begging, pleading for some sort of release.

“ _ Please _ ,” you sob, voice cracking and hoarse through your screams, “ _ make it stop, please! _ ”

Dr. Banner is wiping a cool cloth against your neck, him and Stark muttering calculations to one another and you notice red wisps thread around you, calmness enveloping you though the pain continues. Bucky is no longer able to soothe you and moves to allow the scientists more room, his hand finding Steve’s as he squeezes tightly to relieve his own fear and anxieties. Your sobbing continues, louder now that you no longer have someone beside you to coax you through the pain and Thor seems to notice, his arm nudging Loki forward.

Loki snaps out of his trance, tepidly walking forward before his hand is holding yours, his other fading to a blue colour as he rests it against your head. You sigh softly in relief, your hand tightening and head nuzzling into the frost of Loki’s hand. Then you feel a harsh sting and the prick of a needle in your skin and suddenly the pain is gone. A tingling sensation goes through you like a wave, starting at your scalp and exiting through your toes and you sigh loudly, your body relaxing. 

“How do you feel,  _ kjæreste _ ?” Loki asks, quiet and unsure as the hand on your forehead returns to flesh and brushes the sweat-covered strands of hair from your forehead. Behind him you see the looks of confusion from the other members, Thor whispering to them and the look of comedic horror on Stark’s face followed by a pensive expression from Bucky. “Is the fire gone?”

You can’t help but laugh at that, though it comes out quiet and pained. They look at you in confusion and you shake your head, “The fire will never be gone.”

Loki tilts his head though Steve, Bucky and Stark seem to remember what Strange had told them and nod. You smile, moving your hand from where it clutched Loki, bringing it up to hover between the two of you. Loki breaks eye contact, watching your hand as you flip it, palm up and a flame erupts from the center of your palm. Loki smiles, “You’re full of tricks,  _ kjæreste _ .”

You giggle before turning your attention to the two scientists at the foot of your bed, “Thank you.”

They both smile and nod, brushing off your thanks but you start to worry for what the future may bring, “What happens now?”

“Well kid,” Steve starts and ignores the playful smack to his arm he receives from Bucky, “how’d you like to be an Avenger?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kjæreste - 'darling' in norwegian


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the amazing feedback! I'm so thankful and happy you guys are enjoying this story as much as I am!  
> This chapter is all of the fluff because you deserve it.

So it turns out Steve had kind of jumped the gun on asking you to join the Avengers - even though the accords had been slashed, Steve and Tony still weren’t solely responsible for the Avengers. That responsibility landed with Nick Fury and Phil Coulson, the co-directors of the newly-reformed SHIELD. However, you were well on your way to becoming an official Avenger, you just had a few months of intense training to go. 

Tony had set you up with your own quarters - you were staying on a shared floor with Wanda Maximoff (the cherry haired girl with the red magic). There was a joint kitchen and a small seating area before leading into a hallway where yours and Wanda’s rooms were. You had a little seating area with a door leading to your bedroom where you had a giant king-sized bed with a canopy and forest green sheets. Natasha, Pepper (Tony’s soulmate) and Wanda had helped you pick out decorations and stock you up with the necessary toiletries and a large wardrobe ranging from pyjamas to black tie. You also had an ensuite attached to your bedroom. 

The past week was spent settling in, setting up all of your new things, getting to know your new friends (or family, as the others liked to remind you) and starting your training.

You trained in hand-to-hand combat with Natasha in the mornings, Steve often stepping in to help out but ultimately letting Natasha take the lead. After lunch, you spent two hours with Bucky and Clint learning weaponry and sharpshooting, and after that, you finished the day with three hours of training with Wanda, who helped you hone in and control your powers. That was what your weekdays looked like, weekends were strictly off-limits as per Tony’s orders who had apparently spent a long time berating Steve into giving the team a break.

You found yourself getting along marvellously with the team, especially the girls as you had never really had girlfriends growing up. Between the whole team, however, you were closest with Bucky and Wanda. The instant connection you felt with Bucky only grew over the course of the week, the two of you hit it off instantaneously, and you saw Bucky as somewhat of a brother figure. Wanda had been through something similar, though she’d willingly subjected herself to Hydra experiments, and had connected your first night in your new home.

Wanda had sent Vision down to his room (he shared a floor with Bruce though was rarely seen anywhere but by Wanda’s side) and had cooked a lovely pasta dish, paired with a sweet-tasting white wine. The two of you bonded easily over shared trauma and the team had noticed yours and Wanda’s affinity for physical touch. Where Bucky was metal and sleek coldness to soothe your burning soul, Wanda was a warm touch of comfort and security.

The one person you’d yet to spend alone time with was, ironically, the one you probably should’ve been spending the most with. You’d only seen Loki in the evenings, where Steve demanded the team spent dinner together. It was very safe to say that Loki was avoiding you, which led you to where you were now.

You’re currently sitting in the living room in the common area (a separate floor from everyone’s living residences’) with a book open in your lap even though you’re paying it no attention. Your legs are curled up under you and you continue to peak over the pages of your book towards the elevator doors. It’s currently past midnight and the rest of the team is asleep after a long day of training. You, however, are waiting for Loki to make his way down to this floor.

You cornered Thor earlier today, and he’d not-so-reluctantly gave up Loki’s late-night snack time. Apparently Loki has trouble sleeping, and treks down to the common area every night around one in the morning to have a snack, some tea, and read one of his many treasured books. You feel weird at the notion of basically stalking Loki, but to be fair he  _ is _ your soulmate and is also avoiding you. 

You aren’t quite sure what’s changed since your time in the hospital, why Loki has suddenly gone from very sweet if not a little shy to giving you the cold shoulder. Thor assures you constantly that his avoidance stems from his insecurity, and that Loki is a very solitary individual but it does nothing to quell your worries. Bucky has also been trying to calm your anxieties, telling you that Loki has a history of fucking up social interactions and that with you being such an important person in the god’s life, it’s likely he’s scared of messing things up with you.

You understand Bucky’s reasoning, but even though you’ve been trying to be patient you can’t help the jealousy that tugs in your stomach when Bucky or Thor comes back from hanging out with Loki. It’s completely irrational, especially considering both men are in happy loving relationships with their soulmates, and Bucky is your best friend, but the idea that Loki has the time to hang out with people but is actively choosing to ignore you hurts more than you let on.

Which leads you to now, the book in your lap barely even getting a glance as you stare obsessively at the elevator doors. You can hear the sound of the elevator running, and anxiety trickles down your spine as you watch the numbers slowly stop at the common room floor where you are. The second the doors open and you catch a glimpse of Loki’s messy black hair, your eyes dart to the pages of the book, staring blankly as you bite down on your bottom lip.

You hear the intake of breath that Loki takes and from your peripheral watch as he stops in step momentarily before seeming to get a grip on himself and continue towards the kitchen. You pretend to just hear him come in, though you both know you’ve been here a while, and glance up casually, making eye contact. You let a smile grow, cautious to keep it soft and small, unassuming and feel your chest warm when he sends you one back, equally as tepid and riddles with underlying insecurities.

“Trouble sleeping?” Loki asks as he fiddles with the kettle in the kitchen and you nod before answering verbally, though it’s a bit of a lie seeing as how you’re purposely staying awake in order to see him. If Loki knows this he doesn’t let on to the fact and hums, holding up two mugs in question, “Tea? Chamomile has a drowsy effect on you Midgardians.”

You nod, smile growing slightly bigger as you watch him twiddle around in the kitchen, “That’d be great.”

It’s quiet as Loki makes the two of you tea, but you enjoy the comfortable nature of the silence. Your arms are thrown over the back of the couch, head resting in the crooks of your elbows as your body twists in order to watch him. You have no doubt of the dreamy look in your eyes, but you swear it’s matched in Loki’s every time he glances up at you. When he finishes making the tea he walks over towards the couch, one hand wrapped around a mug, the other around a book. The second cup of tea floats behind him in a cloud of green smoke and you watch, mesmerized, for a moment before you’re brought out of your trance.

Loki cautiously sits on the opposite end of the couch, reaching out tentatively to hand you the mug and you accept it happily, a shiver running up your spin and causing goosebumps to travel the length of your arms as your fingers brush Loki’s. Gathering your wits you twist your body forwards, book closed on your lap and take a sip of your tea as you stare mindlessly in front of you. You can see Loki in your peripheral, taking small sips from his mug as he reads - however, based on the fact that he keeps stealing glances your way, you think it’s safe to say there isn’t much reading going on.

It continues like this for a while, close to an hour even. You and Loki find comfort in each other's presence, the silence not at all tense or awkward, you even find yourself reading some of the book you brought with you. You’ve moved so that your back is pressed against the arm of the couch, body turned sideways so that you’re facing Loki and your feet are pulled up against your chest, book resting in your lap. Your tea is long forgotten, the last drops cold from sitting untouched after you gulped the tea down and you can feel the effects of it kicking in, your body feeling heavier ever so slightly. 

You have to shake yourself awake, not willing to fall asleep and let the confrontation you’d originally planned for going unsaid. With a deep breath, you close the book, the sound of the cover closing loud in the quiet room and Loki watches you curiously as you put the book down on the coffee table and wrap your arms around your legs, resting your chin on your knees and looking up at him. Loki tilts his head and you will yourself not to sigh dreamily; you take another deep breath before you throw caution to the wind and ask in the bluntest manner, “Why have you been avoiding me?”

Loki’s eyes widen, comically so, and he takes a moment to catch himself. You watch him gulp before he too closes his book and places it next to yours on the table. He turns, angling his body more towards yours and rests his right arm along the back of the couch to make himself more comfortable. You can tell he’s struggling to find the words for his explanation, the twinkle in his eyes that usually shows itself in conversation is dimmed, green eyes squinted as he fiddles the fingers of his left hand and struggles to meet your tentative gaze.

“I take it my brother’s team of do-gooders have informed you of my previous attempts at colonizing Midgard?” Is what Loki decides on and you have to force yourself to not balk at his attempt of civil conversation. You nod though, remembering Clint snappily explaining the battle of New York, only for Steve and Bucky to have a more private conversation with you later that evening and explain how some evil titan had used Loki’s insecurities and vulnerable state and had manipulated him into doing his bidding for him. Loki gulps at your nod and you can tell he definitely does not want to be having this conversation, “So I assume having your soul tied to such an evil god has been a hard concept to come to terms with.”

You’re taken back by the harsh tone in Loki’s voice, the contempt clear as he all but spits his assumption in your face. You shrink back, eyes falling to your feet and maybe it’s the fact that you’re ridiculously tired by this point or maybe it’s just the connection between the two of you but you swear you can feel his resentment in waves and you feel water prickling at your eyelashes. 

Unable to meet his gaze your voice is barely above a whisper at this point, “I’m sorry if that’s the impression you got from me but I’d never hate you or our bond for something that wasn’t entirely your fault or of your doing. I don’t know what I did to have you think so little of me but I’m sorry.”

Maybe he’s shocked by your apology but he’s silent and you can feel his gaze hot on your body. The silence lasts a few more minutes and you move to stand before a cold hand is stopping you, fingers gently wrapping around your wrist to keep you in place and you look up, meeting Loki’s eyes.

“I apologize,” Loki starts, hand still wrapped around your wrist as he blinks slowly, “I’ve been told I’m often quick to assume the worst in people. It says a lot more of my character than it does yours. I think nothing but the world of you,  _ Kjæreste _ .”

You smile, bright and unrelenting and Loki meets it with his own, though it’s significantly smaller and a little shyer. You nod and embrace the silence that follows. Eventually, Loki starts up his reading again and you feel the pull of sleep tugging harshly at you. You end up with your feet resting on Loki’s lap, your body laying across the couch with the throw blanket from the back of the couch pulled down over you. 

And if Loki doesn’t dare move an inch for the rest of the night until you begin to stir in the late hours of the morning, the two of you don’t say anything. And neither does the rest of the team when they join you on the floor for breakfast that morning.


End file.
